I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm bleeding and have questions
that is very illegal...i love you.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
