Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
