What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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