I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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