So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
