So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
