he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
