I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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