Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you would pick up someone in the library
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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