Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
