I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
