remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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