I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
