drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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