Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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