where am i from again
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
