do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
