he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
