He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
