turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
