No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Randomize
