I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
