who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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