It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
