we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
