my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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