I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
