Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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