id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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