brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Its about making memories worth repressing
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
