Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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