I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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