someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
