Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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