dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
