He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
