maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
