just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize
