i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
