I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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