the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize