I'm so fucking centered right now
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
