so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
