used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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