you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
