my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
