I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
