STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize