My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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