Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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