nut hugger
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
