I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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