no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
