So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
