Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
