This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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