theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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