after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize