Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
50% drunk capacity currently
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
