The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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