then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
